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The banter and meme thread

Discussion in 'Lobby' started by Woxbel, Jan 22, 2019.

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    Events PR:BF2 Administrator IRL Task Force Media Team AREA 94

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    Do not stick pencil lead down your pee pee hole.

    I was curious after showering and saw that my mechanical pencil was on the sink (probably from my pant pocket). Don’t know what made me do it, but I thought it would be a good idea to open it up and stick the pencil lead down my pee pee hole. It went in quite easily and I was about to take it out thinking it was a bad idea, but I couldn’t actually pick up the lead. It was a good 3-4 millimetres down and I was starting to panic. I immediately went to a drawer under the sink and got out a pair of tweezers and began trying to pull it out.

    It was at this point that it started to sting. Oh it stung like fire, relentless waves and waves of throbbing pain struck me as I, on the verge of tears kept trying to get it out. I only pushed it further in with the tweezers. The pain grew more and I was really panicking now. It felt as if there was acid inside. I turned on the sink and tried washing it out but to no avail. At this point I was ready to just have a breakdown.

    Standing there, drenched in water, my manly part on fire as I bit my knee, trying to get a hold of myself. The pain was so bad that I just wanted to cut it all off. I looked around again and saw that there was nothing else that could help me, and I did the only thing I knew how to do.

    I sat there, and took the single most painful fap I had ever taken in my entire life. When I finally went off, the pencil lead, now broken in 3 and covered with what looked like blood came out with the cum. It looked terrible but almost immediately the pain stopped and I just sat there, a failed man, covered in my own cum and blood, and cried silently for about 5 minutes.

    Lesson learned: NEVER stick pencil lead down your pee pee hole.
    Dutchboss and BubblyNinja like this.
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    PBAsydney PBAsydney Bad hit detection

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    AREA 94 Guest Unit - GC

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    Bullseye2550 Bullseye2550 build stuff

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    [​IMG]
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    AREA 94 Guest Unit - GC

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    Hunter and Danesh when they smell BGB
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    Hahaha, disabled comments...
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    PR:BF2 Name:
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    Bullseye have you just discovered a meme template website lol
    Dr_Evil likes this.
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    WeedT0aster WeedT0aster The APC is pounding the FOB

    Senior Tester PR:BF2 Administrator Guest Unit - THOT

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    I mean you can obviously see the website he is using in the left bottom corner of the picture
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    Events PR:BF2 Administrator IRL Task Force Media Team AREA 94

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    To preface, I used to masturbate a lot, and still sometimes do. Usually, I do it in the shower. For around an hour (whenever I get the chance).


    So today I had the great idea based on the notion of "since shampoo feels soft in my hands/hair, maybe it would feel good on my dick?" So I took a whole bunch in my hand, and rubbed it all over. It felt good at first too, basically what you would imagine it to feel like.


    Then I got the great idea of sticking it in the shampoo bottle.


    With some effort (not to flex but my dick is pretty wide) I managed to get it in there completely. This was not a good idea. First of all, I couldn't even move it around cuz it was super tight. Like there was so much friction, it was stuck. And I couldn't move it out either. I started to panic. I looked like a complete idiot, my entire penis encased by this huge bottle. I tried jumping up and down, pulling it off with my hands, then my feet, it was such an ordeal.


    The entire time, my dick was floating around in shampoo-y substances, which wasn't a problem at first. Until it started FUCKING BURNING.


    HOLY HELL I cannot accurately describe the pain of having a burning schlong. It was this icy-fire feeling, that kept throbbing continuously. I could barely stop myself from screaming. Tears and all, I was a mess.


    At this point I would do anything to get it off. So I figured out a plan, dried myself, put on my biggest pair of pants (some flannel) to hide the giant-ass shampoo bottle and a t-shirt so I could get some butter from the fridge. So as I'm making my way to the fridge, MY MOM tells me to come up to her room to "talk about my academic failure,"


    I sat through 20 minutes of her talking shit about me with a freezing-burning penis. After that shit-show, I tried running back to my room. I was sweating, crying, and couldn't hold my own weight. I fell down on my knees and crawled the rest of the way to my room with my melted butter stick.


    To shorten a long process, I rubbed some butter over the lid, and after a while, the bottle popped off to reveal my burning-red manhood.


    As i'm writing this, my dick still hasn't fully healed, and I think I ripped the skin, which means no more masturbating for a while


    Lesson: Never, EVER, stick your dick in a shampoo bottle.
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    Wicca Wicca Project Founder

    Head of PRTA Squad Adminstrator IRL Task Force Potato Regiment

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    Ribbons done yet, or did you start a new journey with your body and the showerhead?
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    GLORYWINGS GLORYWINGS ''GLORYWINGS''

    Donor

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    I struggle reading this
    Is this your lifetime experince?
    --- Double Post Merged, May 23, 2019, Original Post Date: May 23, 2019 ---
    roflmao
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    PR:BF2 Administrator AREA 94 Guest Unit - GC

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    Ok I think we can lock this, casualty is going gay.
    solidfire93 and Smek like this.
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    AREA 94

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    the fuck you talking about.... he is/still Gay
    agus92 likes this.
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    WeedT0aster WeedT0aster The APC is pounding the FOB

    Senior Tester PR:BF2 Administrator Guest Unit - THOT

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    isn't that the memo for Area 94? play minecraft and be gay?
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    Events PR:BF2 Administrator IRL Task Force Media Team AREA 94

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    PRTA is becoming more and more less inclusive

    Isnt it a weed thing being a complete retarded moron?
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    WeedT0aster WeedT0aster The APC is pounding the FOB

    Senior Tester PR:BF2 Administrator Guest Unit - THOT

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    So you're basically calling millions and millions of people including people in this community retarded morons just because they smoke weed? yeah sounds about right when I said you are gay and you play minecraft xD
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    cassius23 cassius23 crashius23

    Coder Foxtrot IRL Event Attendee

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    Recipe for losing the tournament: POV and THOT on the same team

    CAS_ual_TY stop feeding us fake autism, at least gwaihir and weed are legit
    schakal811 likes this.
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    PR:BF2 Administrator Mapper Guest Unit - THOT

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    shut your whore mouth
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    GLORYWINGS GLORYWINGS ''GLORYWINGS''

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    fixed it for you
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